I met Jo 14 years ago when I studied abroad in Scotland. We met on one of my last nights there, and yet somehow managed to form such a strong friendship that we grew closer after I left. (She solidified the deal when she asked me to send her gummy bears when I got home.) We would send letters, emails, and mix tapes to each other, never letting the miles stop us from growing closer. We would chat on instant message when I was studying in the library, talking about music, crushes, and giant cookies.  We visited each other several times, starting when she was in high school and ending in 2012, when she helped Scott arrange our surprise engagement in Edinburgh. Our friendship spans enough years that I remember having to go to specific bars that would not card her until she turned 18.

Jo was such a special person. She was the type of person who was so smart, so funny, that I would wonder what she saw in me. How could this amazing person find ME interesting? Yet she somehow did, and she remained a loyal friend through so many good and bad times. When I think about the darkest times of my life, I always remember her being there for me, listening patiently, offering support, even from thousands of miles away. In fact, I don’t know of anyone who has been there for me so consistently—even until some of our final conversations.

Ever passionate, she would tell me, “It’s important that you end up with someone who is equally passionate about things—otherwise they’ll always make you feel like you’re overreacting.” I never forgot that advice, and have managed to surround myself with these types of people—including her wonderful friends and family.

Knowing someone is sick doesn’t make the loss any easier—it kills me to think about how much she has suffered, especially at the end. I wish so much I was able to see her one more time, to laugh with her, to discuss ridiculous things like how she though all humans looked like animals, and that the most attractive ones looked like rodents.  I really wish she could have met my kids. 

I’m also so grateful for our friendship. I’m so humbled that I was able to be a part of her life. These memories are such a gift.